Advice on a Weight Loss Journey

A friend of mine recently asked me for any advice I may have about weight loss. After some thought, I gave him these six things and thought it might be worth sharing. I hope it helps you, if you need it.

Remember all the lectures about peer pressure, temptation, and addiction? Well, unfortunately, they apply to weight loss as well. The culture we live in has gotten to the point where everyone thinks it's okay to be overweight because it is so prevalent.

Your body gets addicted to having certain kinds of foods and the more you eat of them, the more you crave them. Sugar is just one example. Well meaning people will unknowingly becomes drug pushers and try to get you to eat a slice of pie or piece of cake or another slice of pizza. They just think they are being hospitable, but what they are really doing is feeding your body's addiction.

When I look back at my weight loss journey (and I do consider myself a recovering food addict, by the way) there are about five or six things that made this time successful.

1. Find your motivation. I've tried to diet many times with no real success. I found my motivation in my children. I had come to a place where if something hadn't changed, a heart attack or stroke was in my future and I didn't want my children to go through that or my wife to have to change my diapers and feed me like a baby.

2. Find your support. Laura and I decided to take this journey together. Your spouse's support is critical. Not only will the meals that are cooked have to change, but the food that is brought into the house will have to change. Simply, if it isn't there, you can't eat it. At times, your wife will be the only person in your corner cheering you on. There's a reason Rocky always looked for Adrian, know what I mean? Women understand some things better than men do.

3. Find your plan. Find a diet plan that works for you. For me it was Weight Watchers, for others it's counting calories. Have an organized diet plan and stick to it. Whatever plan you use, keep a food journal. Just write down everything that goes into your mouth. That will help make it real. Be prepared to defend your diet plan; people will look at you and say "Is that all you're eating?" At one point, I had people asking me if I was anorexic.

4. Find your exercise. Unfortunately, dieting alone is not enough. You need to exercise religiously. I have learned that I love running and weight lifting. Whether it is a daily walk, a gym membership, or some other form of exercise, move your body.

5. Find your goal. Set small goals. My first goal was 10 pounds. Once I lost the first ten, I set another goal for 20 pounds. I weigh myself every Wednesday morning and record my weight on a spreadsheet. Now, my goal is to stay between 173-176 lbs. I see 177 I get nervous and begin reviewing how I have been eating and what needs to change. At some point, someone will tell you that you've lost too much weight and that you look sick. Don't listen to them. I've discovered the only people who say things like that are those who could stand to loose a few pounds themselves.

6. Find a way to forgive yourself. You will backslide, you will see the scales move backwards from time to time. I tell people I lost 110 pounds, but in all honestly, I lost 120 because I gained 10 back and had to take them off again during the process.

Weight loss is a journey that at times may be slow, may be difficult, and may seem impossible. Trust me when I say it is a journey worth taking.

My Son, My Teacher

Today, my oldest son turned twelve.  In some cultures, that would make him a man.  The thought of that makes me smile.  When he was very little, I started writing a booklet, pamphlet, whatever you might want to call it.  Here's an excerpt in honor of my little boy who is becoming a young man.  Be gentle, this writing was straight from my heart.  

My Son, My Teacher

-1-

The day my wife and I found out that we were going to have a baby is a day that I will not ever forget. After 6 weeks of prayer, asking the Lord for His guidance and direction in starting our family, He answered our prayers in a most definite way. Laura was expecting. We were so excited. I remember thinking time and time again everything I would teach my child, what I never dreamed of was what the Lord would teach me through my child.

On October 7, 2001, Thomas Ethan Otto came into the world. It figures that my wife would disobey me about this matter. The only instruction I gave her about delivering our child was that she could not go into labor on a Sunday. Of course, she did. About 8:00 pm, I saw my son for the first time. My mother-in-law, Janine Hicks, had not stopped praying ever since I had first taken Laura to the hospital late that afternoon. The nurses could not believe how easy of time Laura had with her first delivery—Laura did not think it was too easy though!

I quickly realized that something wasn’t quite right though. The nurses weren't as relaxed as they should have been. There was tenseness in the room that I did not understand. As the lead nurse carried my son in her arms, she practically ran down the hall. I followed her worriedly, not knowing what to expect. She looked back at me and hesitantly said “Everything’s okay, Dad.” Somehow I didn't believe her.

The nurse ran past the waiting room, where our friends, family, and it seemed most of our church family were waiting for news. I found my voice had left me. I stood watching the nurses through the nursery windows as they hastily worked on my son. I turned to a dear sister from church, Mrs. Brenda Baker, and told her these words: “The nurses said he wasn't breathing right. . . he’s not breathing right.” She said perhaps the most comforting words that I have ever heard. Mrs. Baker said “The Lord is not going to give him to you and then take him right back. The Lord won’t do that. Not our God.”

Ethan was stabilized and we thought all was well. A day later, the pediatrician told us that they were going to have put Ethan in the neonatal intensive care unit that he had some kind of infection, but they weren't sure what it was. The next time I saw my son, he had wires, and tubes stuck all over his little body. I was broken hearted. I began making phone calls. The first was to my Pastor, requesting that he would bring the church to prayer for little Ethan. Brother Pierce assured me he would. The next calls were the hardest to make. I had to call the grandparents and tell them. My voice broke over the phone as I wept silently telling them that there was something wrong with their brand new grand baby. 

I had to get alone. I walked to a quiet corner of the hospital. There I poured my heart out to God,
railing against Him; I asked Him how He could do this, how could He take my only son, my firstborn. How, I asked over and over again. I begged God for my son’s life, but I did not seem to hear an answer. This is when God taught me the first of many lessons through my son. God showed the depth of a father’s love. As my tears subsided, I heard that still, small voice speak inside of my heart. God spoke and this is what He said: “Now you know how I felt. Now you know how much I love you.” God showed me the power of a father’s love. God broke my heart that day. Here I was, telling God how terrible it was that I might lose my son, when He knew the pain I was feeling. As I stood beside my son as he lay in the incubator, I could almost hear Jesus on the Cross as He cried out “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” (Mat 27:46 KJV)
God showed me exactly what He must have felt that day as He watched His only begotten son be given a mockery of a trial by God’s chosen people, as God watched His son be beaten and mocked by the Roman soldiers. As Jesus walked up that old hill, God must wept bittersweet tears; His plan was being brought to pass, but at such a cost. Salvation was being brought to man, but at the greatest price imaginable.


A few days later the doctor told us that we could take Ethan home. They could not understand it,
but somehow the infection had disappeared. The doctors said that there might have been some sort of false reading done on the original tests because day by day the traces and signs of the infection had disappeared—much too quickly for the medicine to take effect. I knew what had happened. I knew Who had dealt with the infection. My God had heard the prayers of the saints and answered them in a way that only He can. My son was healed, not by doctors or by medicine, but by the hand of the almighty God.

-2-

The days past by quickly after we took Ethan home, unfortunately, the nights did not go by quite so fast. I was not expecting it, but the Lord was about to teach me another lesson through my son.

Ethan was a sickly baby. He seemed to keep a cold most of the time. Everything we would try did not seem to work, he just kept getting sick. During this time, I worked third shift a local factory. Five nights a week I was at work, thinking of my family. The other two nights of the week, I was up with my son, letting my wife get some well-deserved rest. It was during these long nights that my Heavenly Father taught me another lesson. Like many Christians, I have often found it hard to find time to pray—or rather, I have found it hard to make time to pray. God showed me during this time that there is always time to pray when you have a need, but that you should not wait for a need to arise before you pray.

One particular night, Ethan had a hacking cough. He was just a little fellow, and every time he would cough, his entire body would shake and tremble. I learned how to pray very quickly. My heart breaking, I learned what God was trying to teach me through my son. I had waited too long to begin praying. If I had just been praying more for my son, if I had been praying diligently until God answered my prayers, God seemed to say that Ethan wouldn’t be wracked with cough and fever. I can remember holding Ethan close to me, rocking him to sleep. As we rocked together, the prayers flowed from the very depths of my soul. On this night, it seemed as if the very stars were bending low to listen to this poor saint of God pour out his heart. I can remember how hot Ethan was that night. I can also remember how as I continued to pray and beseech God, how that little body began to cool off. Another lesson was learned that night—pray, and pray diligently. Thank the Lord; I have been able to apply this lesson to all parts of my life. Surely, Paul was led of the Spirit when he wrote to the Thessalonians this simple statement “Pray without ceasing“(1 Th 5:17).

-3-

The days, weeks and months seemed to fly by. We were a very busy family, our lives full of church, ministry, work, and family. Things just seemed to be piling up on me. It was during this time that God used little Ethan to teach me yet another lesson. Ethan was not keeping his formula down. Every time Laura would feed him a bottle, it would come back up. We did not know what to do. As we grew increasingly concerned about Ethan not eating, it seemed as if the Lord was dealing with my heart about something. I could not figure it out, so I dismissed it.

Ethan kept getting weaker and weaker as the time passed. He just would not keep his formula down. Working with the pediatrician, we finally found the right formula—one Ethan would keep down. The change was marvelous to see. Ethan began growing. He but on some much needed weight. Before he was so very pale, but now he was getting color in his cheeks.

As I sat in my study thanking the Lord, the truth of what God was trying to show me struck home like a thunderbolt crashing home. Ethan was not growing because he was not eating. My Christian life had come to a stand still because I was not eating. As my life became more and more hectic, I laid aside my daily devotion and I had stagnated. My preaching had become stale. My witness had become dull.

My heart ached mightily. God put a verse in my heart. Second Timothy 2:15 says “Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” I was not studying. I was not showing myself approved unto anything.

I began my personal devotions with a renewed passion. Do you know what happened? Everything began to turn around. That peace that passeth all understanding made its way back to my heart.

My son has taught me and continues to teach me so many things.  How amazing is it that God has taught me so much about my relationship with Him through my relationship with my son?  

                       

Choices, Choices

I’ve had a heavy heart for the last several days.  To say we have had a lot going on in the Otto household might just be an understatement.  We've had our share of difficulties and more than our share of blessings in this last week, however that’s not why my heart is heavy.

Friday night, we had a lock-in at our church.  We were fortunate to have 29 young people between the ages of 6 and 18 at this lock-in.  We had a great time with games and activities and lots of fun, but the most important and most moving part of the night was when my good friend Brother Devin Hargrave preached a message out of the Book of Daniel.  This message wasn’t the typical message on Daniel, you know, the fiery furnace or how Daniel purposed in his heart not to defile himself. 

His message really boiled down to choices and the choices we make in this life.  I watched the young people listen to Brother Devin preach.  I watched their faces as he spoke from the heart about other young people he had ministered to in juvenile facilities—10 year olds in juvenile correction facilities because of choices.

I watched their faces as Brother Devin talked about how kids made bad choices on who they hung out with and those friends got them in trouble.  About how one boy told Devin that he hadn't done anything wrong, but that his buddy smarted off to a police officer and he got taken along for the ride in the police cruiser.    I saw the looks in their eyes as Devin told of people in the Kentucky State Penn that he had ministered to because of choices they had made as young people.

What I saw on the faces of these children both amazed and alarmed me.  There were a couple of preteen children who had a blank look on their faces.  At first I thought it was because they were tuning out the preacher, but then I looked closer and saw the pain of recognition.  They knew people who had made poor choices and were paying the consequences for those choices.  

As the preacher told the young people about a young man who disobeyed his mom and dad and back talked them and argued with them incessantly until his parents kicked him out their home, I watched the young people struggle with this.  The thought of their disobedience causing their mom or dad to kick them out of the house was more than some of them could take. 

I saw a preacher’s kid fight to hold back tears and struggle to keep his face together as Devin preached.  The pain in that kid’s eyes amazed me.  He was making some connections to the pain he had caused his parents through disobedience. 

I saw a girl wipe away tears as she listened to the preacher tell the truth about choices.   I saw a young man bow his head and begin to pray, earnestly talking to the Lord.  I saw God work in many hearts and minds. 

Later that night, the girls were over in the other building and the boys were bunked down in the fellowship hall, “sleeping,” of course.  I began to talk to the Lord about my burdens for these young people.  But then as I continued to talk with the Lord, I begin to think of others that I have been burdened with because of choices they have made or are about to make.

Choices can make or break relationships.  Bad choices can ruin an otherwise bright future.  Choices made in haste can set you on a path that you never intended to go down.  Every choice that we have to make should not be made lightly. 

Philippians 4:6 tells us to pray about everything—every choice, every decision, every opportunity.  Do we really do this?  Do we really take the time to pray and ask God what He would have us to do regarding something or is it heads we’ll do option A and tales, we’ll take option B?

I’m burdened.  I’m afraid.  I’m alarmed.  Why?  Because many choices are being made that will have long reaching consequences in lives all around me.  Choices are being made that might impact my church family. Choices are being made that might impact my children.   My friends are being impacted on choices they have made.

There are several verses that the Lord has given me over the years that just sort of stick in my mind.  One of them is in Joel, chapter 3.  This verse says simply “Multitudes, multitudes in the valley of decision, for the day of the Lord is near in the valley of decision.”   

Are you in the valley of decision?  Are you at a fork in the road and not sure which way to go?  I wish I could tell you which way to go, whether to the left or to the right, but I cannot.  Be careful, friends, be careful with those choices that need to be made.      

Hey, You Have a Great Marriage

Recently, I was asked a question that really shocked me.  I was asked “why do you have such a great marriage?”   It took me by surprise, because I don't consider my marriage as great, mostly because I know who my wife married.  I answered quite truthfully, “I have a great wife.”  

The question wouldn’t leave my mind.  I began to think about why someone on the outside of my marriage would judge my marriage as “a great marriage.”

I began to examine the qualities of my marriage and to trace them back to their origins.  When I was a young man, just engaged to a beautiful young woman, an evangelist held a family revival at our church.  Knowing that Laura and I were about to start our own family, I paid particular attention. 

So here it is.  Here’s THE secret to a great marriage. 

Love your wife.

Earth shattering, I know.  Let me share with you the origins of this secret.   In the Book of Ephesians, we find these words:  “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” (Ephesians 5:25).

This type of love is a sacrificial love.  Notice that the love that Christ had for the church was defined by giving.  The love that husbands should have for their wives is the same—a giving love.   Too many times we as men are selfish and we do not realize the position this puts our wives in.

This passage goes on to say that a man should love his wife as he loves his own body and that he doesn’t hurt himself. 

So, why do we see so many men—good men, having trouble in their marriage?  It’s a lack of love, or should I say a lack of sacrificial love.

As I was pondering these thoughts, I began to think of ways that I have shown my love through giving to my wife.

Every once in a while, Laura will plan a “girls night out,” with her friends.  Do I want to mind the kids after working all week?  Nope, I’d much rather Laura stay home and deal with the screaming heathens.  But I know she needs this time away to be Laura—not Honey, Mommy, Daughter, or Sister, but Laura.

Doing the dishes.  I never load the dish washer correctly (just ask Laura, she'll tell you), but my dear wife appreciates every time that I load the dishwasher with dirty dishes.  That frees up her time to do something else, like maybe read a book. 

Clean the bathroom.  I really hate to clean the bathrooms.  (This goes back to my first job in high school; I’ll spare you the details.)  But I’ve learned that Laura hates it even more than I do, so I do it for her.  Not every time, but fairly often. 

What it boils down to is this:  if you want a marriage that someone on the outside of your home says “hey, you have a great marriage,” put her first.  Love her enough to put her first.  Consider her feelings.  Consider the effects your decisions have on her before you make them.  Don’t act first and think later-if you ever get around to thinking, that is. 

Guys, you want your marriage to work?  Want peace in your home?  Want a happy wife?

Then love your wife.  Love her the way that Christ loved the church; sacrifice for your wife and see how great your marriage can be.    

Let me add this thought from Ralph Waldo Emerson:  "What you do speaks so loudly, I can't hear what you are saying."  Saying I love you isn't enough, you need to show it as well. 

It is Well

I was reading my morning devotion and came across the familiar passage of the Shunammite woman that had her husband build a little chamber for the man of God, Elisha, to rest in on his travels.  This passage always shows me something new every time I read it.

Have you ever noticed what this lady said to her husband after the lad died?  She said "It shall be well." (II Kings 4:23)  What faith in God!  Notice again what she said to the Gehazi, Elisha's servant:  "It is well."  (verse 26).

Have you ever wondered what caused this lady to change her opinion?  Something happened to cause her opinion to turn from hopeful, to decided; from hesitant, to confident.  When she started her journey, God must have seemed so far away.  Her future must have seem uncertain, her reality turned upside down.  What happened to that dear lady in this apparently short journey?

I think several things happened.  First, she didn't wait.  Have you ever paid attention to what her husband said to her?  In verse 23, he asks why she wants to go to the man of God as it was not the new moon nor the sabbath.  He was basically saying, it isn't church time, why are you going to church?  The Shunammite woman had a problem that couldn't wait!  Many of us wait to take our problems to the Lord and that works against us.  The boy was dead!  That is a pretty urgent issue.  She was not going to wait to take her petition to the Lord, and neither should we.

Secondly, she exercised her faith.  In this passage, we never find that Elisha invited her to his home.  In fact, the only interactions they have is at the Shunammite's home.  This dear lady put her faith in action and decided to grab the bull by the horns.  I can almost picture the stubborn set of her jaw, the fire in her eyes, and the determined way she gazed at the horizon. She was going to see Elisha and nothing was going to get in her way.  Too many times, we allow our faith to lapse and we accept defeat at the hand of the enemy.  Do you realize what this woman did?  She left her son, dead, on the bed.  She didn't take time to mourn or weep or rail at God.  She was too busy exercising her faith!

Thirdly, she was persistent.  She only had three words for Gehazi.  "It is well."  I can almost hear her saying "Get out of my way."  She did not stop halfway, she did not stop at the door, she went in to the man of God and gave her petition.  Elisha sent the servant to the child.  This dear lady said something that spoke volumes to her faith and her persistence--"As the Lord liveth, and as thy soul liveth, I will not leave thee."  What commitment!  She could have given up both on the man of God and on God, but she didn't!

We know the rest of the story; Elisha comes to the home of the Shunammite and and raises the boy from the dead.  What victory!  What glory!

What do you have in your life that is dead?  Have you put off dealing with something that has caused your faith to wither?  The only way to deal with problems and issues that face us is to be like this dear lady.  Be quick to act, be faithful and be persistent.

Is it no wonder that the scriptures tell us to "come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need." (Hebrews 4:16) 

Nothing would aggravate my Mom more than someone coming to a complete stop before turning to the right off of the main road.  She would always say, "What are you waiting for, an engraved invitation?"  We have been given an engraved invitation; why are we waiting to use it?

It is well.  

The Proudest Moments of My Life

There have been several moments in my life that have made me very proud.  I'm not talking about the kind of arrogant pride that no one really likes, but the good kind of pride that I hope you have experienced at least once in your life.

The day I graduated from Western Kentucky University was a very proud moment.  I remember walking onto the football field and the entire faculty and staff of the Computer Science department were standing on the field dressed in their full academic regalia lauding our accomplishment.  As I took my seat with the rest of my fellow graduates, I sat there listening to the college president congratulating us, the sense of accomplishment that I felt was tremendous.  A few moments later, I was walking across the stage, shaking the hand of our college president as he smiled at me.  What a moment.  My parents were in the stand, I could feel their pride and joy. Along with my parents was my soon to be wife rejoicing with me.

The next moment that strikes me as one of my proudest moments, was when my lovely wife walked down the aisle and married me.  Me!  A dorky, computer nerd!  As I took her hand and we turned to face our pastor, the pride in starting a marriage the way the Lord intended overwhelmed my soul.  I still look back to that day with amazement that such an amazing lady as Laura settled for me.

Then came the day when I graduated from Bible College.  That night brought about such pride and satisfaction in all the late nights studying; all the sweat, blood, and tears that was poured into the thesis I had to write and the many years of working a full time job, helping raising two boys with my wife, and trying to have an effective ministry.  I look at my Bible College degree with a source of amazement and pride in what the Lord had accomplished through me.

Another day that I could chalk up as one of the proudest moments of my life was the day I was ordained into the Gospel Ministry.  A group of godly men that I looked on with great respect and that I held in high esteem examined me, my calling, and my testimony and found me worthy to be ordained into the ministry.  What a moment. 

But what happened a few hours or so ago, make these moments pale in comparison.  This morning, I finished my second half marathon, if you don't know, that's 13.1 miles.  As I came around the curve in the road and approached the finished line, I saw two things:  my wife, standing in the middle of the race course with her camera (of course)  smiling and snapping pictures.  The second thing was my boys standing on the set of bleachers watching me and clapping.  Clapping for their father.  As I met the eyes of each of my boys in turn, the pride they had for their father crossing the finish line overwhelmed me.  The thought struck me, how many boys have the opportunity to be proud of their father?

It doesn't matter how many degrees I earn, or if my peers count me as one of them, or how much my wife loves me, if my children don't have opportunities to be proud of their father.  Men, take a moment and ask yourself, are your children proud of you?  I'm reminded of the verse in Hebrews 11 that says "But now they desire a better country, that is, an heavenly: wherefore God is not ashamed to be called their God: for he hath prepared for them a city."  I want my heavenly Father to be proud of me and I want my children to not be ashamed to be called my children.  How's your life shaping up this morning--if you have any doubts, you may need to spend some time talking to your heavenly Father.  I'm sure He will give you something to stand up and clap about. 

Wrapping up Ruth

Below you will find links to the last two messages in the series from Ruth.  It was a blessing for me as I studied and prayed over these messages to see how the Lord has woven a fine tapestry in His Word.  The last two messages consider the topics of Purpose and Bitterness.  I truly hope that they will be a blessing to you, as they were to me.

Handfuls of Purpose

From Bitter to Blessed

A Series of Messages from Ruth

I have been preaching a series of messages from the book of Ruth.  It has been quite the blessing to me in my studies and personal life.  It is my hope that this series will be both a help and a blessing to you.  Here are the first few messages:

A Famine in the Land

The Consequences of Bad Decisions

Is this Naomi?

Whose Damsel is this?

Handfuls of Purpose

As this series continues, I will add more messages to this blog.