Be Considerate!

 

I was born in Iowa, but we moved to Kentucky when I was young, maybe around 4 or so.  Being raised in the South was interesting.  I was introduced to a whole different world of food like fried okra, fatback, and a host of other strange foods.  Funeral customs were different than what my Mom was used to, as well as weddings and other holiday celebrations.  Every summer I would visit my Dad in Iowa and of course my grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins.  My cousins always commented on my accent, the adults, on my manners. 

Being raised in the South comes with the expectation that you use your manners—yes ma’am, no ma’am, please, thank you and you’re welcome are always to be used.  Holding a door open for a lady or giving your seat to an elder is simply done without direction or complaint.

The Bible gives guidance on having good manners or being considerate of others.  To be considerate means to show kindly awareness or regard for another's feelings, or circumstances.  So many difficulties we face could be avoided if we used some simple consideration. 

For example, in Proverbs, we find this verse: “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. (Prov. 15:1)” In conversation, we should mind our manners and give a soft answer to de-escalate situations.  Often, we want to respond in anger or in bitterness, but all that will do is make the other person angrier.   This verse is not only speaking of what we say, but how we say it.  The tone of our voice, our body language, and the amount of eye contact we make all communicates.  Experts tell us that eighty percent of communication is non-verbal!  Think of the last heated conversation you had.  Could have you answered differently in the beginning?  If so, would have the outcome been different.  Most likely, the answer is yes.  Perhaps we did not take the time or make the effort to consider how the other person was feeling.  A soft answer can be just the consideration needed.

We find other guidance in the Bible on being considerate.  In Ephesians 4:32, we see this instruction: “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.”  Simply, the Bible is telling us to be kind to each other.  I find many people are looking for someone to show them a little kindness.  Just a smile can change someone’s whole day.  Don’t you like it when someone smiles at you?  Perhaps you are out at a grocery store and you come upon another person in the aisle.  Isn’t it much better when they smile at you rather than scowl at you like you are in their way?  If you see your neighbor struggling with something in their yard, be kind, give them a hand!  That neighbor may just turn into a friend. 

But this guidance goes further than just be being kind; we are told to be tenderhearted.  Think the best of people, not the worst.  Expect them to do right and to do good, do not expect them to be out to get you.  But if they are contrary towards you, forgive them.  So many feuds are started because someone offends someone else and they respond in anger.  In our history, there are many famous feuds.  They seem to have this in common—after time passes, no one knows why they are feuding to begin with!  But why forgiveness?  Shouldn’t we avenge ourselves when we are done wrong?  No, the rest of the verse tells us that we need to forgive others because God has forgiven us.  Think of all the wrong we have done against God!  Yet, He forgives us! 

One last piece of direction we can find about being considerate comes from Titus 3:2 “To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men.”  Don’t be a gossip!  Don’t partake in talking about others.  This only leads to trouble!  Have you ever known anyone to gossip about someone and it was something good?  No, it always seems to be unkind or mean spirited.  Jesus gave us this warning in Matthew 12:36 But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.  Those gossip sessions will come back to haunt you!  You will be reminded of those idle words!   

Don’t be a brawler—don’t argue or fight with others.  What good can that accomplish?  Fighting never resolves issues, it only makes them worse.  Instead, be gentle!  Show meekness.  Meekness is not weakness.  Meekness can be summed by this thought:  power under control.  Keep yourself under control, and as the sweet little old lady who lived next door to me would say, “mind your manners!”

A little consideration can go a long way in all our relationships.  Whether it is with our coworkers, our neighbors, or our spouses, we should be considerate of them.  Everyone, after all, can have a bad day.  Everyone can and does go through difficult times.  Your consideration may be just what they need!